in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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