you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
