well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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