I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
