she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize