I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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