I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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