Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
