If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
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She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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