brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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