Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My vagina just clenched in fear
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
