so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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