like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
