I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
