remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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