guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
