Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
