Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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