at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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