Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
