I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
