Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
