I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
