I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
