things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just had sex on a roof
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
