Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
