you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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