I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
