dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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