Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When did angry sex become our thing?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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