Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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