So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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