I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
