At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.