Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize