i think i have two assholes
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'm just crazy horny about you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably