if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes