Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
