I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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