this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
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You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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