Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
