was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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