problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
