she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
