You really coming over, don't trick.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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