i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No subtext here. People are naked.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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