Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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