absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
