you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
