I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
