I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
