So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
