When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
