Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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