so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
