wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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