She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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