Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
