You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
