I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
