I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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